#and the thing is that i don’t like the argue and yell
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seumyo · 3 days ago
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a softie for sentimentality, bakugou katsuki.
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Bakugou wears a bracelet. You’ve known about it for as long as you could remember, but only decided to acknowledge it now that you’re in your third year at UA, two weeks before graduation.
It wasn’t flashy or adorned with any kind of logo—just a simple, sturdy piece of metal with a stainless clasp that he seemed to wear all the time. You tilted your head as you studied it.
“You’ve had that bracelet for as long as I can remember,” you said, sitting down on his study chair. It’s a privilege to even set foot inside of his room without immediately being told (yelled) off, really.
Bakugou looked up from his book and glanced at you. “Yeah, and?”
“Is there, like, a story behind it?”
“No story,” he said with a shrug, but you weren’t entirely convinced.
“Really? That’s so bland. I thought there’d be like a gut-wrenching or life-changing story for it.”
He sat up from his bed with a huff, his eyes narrowing at you. “It’s just somethin’ I wear. What’s it to you?”
You raised your hands in mock surrender, a playful smile on your lips. “Alright, Mr. Mysterious. Keep your secrets.”
“Fuck off, dipshit.”
“Again with that! Why can’t you be nicer now that we’re graduating?”
“Shut up,” he grumbled.
-
But the conversation stuck to you.
It’s the day of graduation when you presented him with a small, handmade box. It was simple, made of sturdy cardboard decorated with his signature colors and an orange ribbon to match. Bakugou rose a brow.
“What’s this for?” He asks, holding it up like the box might explode at any given moment, though there was no bite to it.
“A box.”
“No shit,” he scoffs, “what’s in it?”
“Open it to find out!” You egged him on.
Bakugou sighs, opening the box with a focused pout. He went quiet when he saw what was inside.
“Ta-da! A bracelet,” you said, smiling. “For you. Thought you could use something new to switch things up.”
He held the stringed bracelet in his hand, looking at the material as if it would erupt in flames if he glared hard enough. It was a stark contrast to his metal one—brightly colored warm complementary beads with little charms that somehow still managed to feel like him. There was a red charm shaped like an explosion, a black bead with a skull design, and a small silver charm with an engraved kanji for “strength.”
“I’m not wearing this,” he said flatly.
It’s like your cartoonish heart balloon had suddenly been popped with a prickly needle.
“What? Why not? It’s cool!” you argued. “I even made it myself to really match you!”
“It’s not my style.”
“Sure it is. Look, it’s got black, silver, and even a little red—it screams Bakugou Katsuki.”
“I didn’t get you anythin’ as a parting gift,” he tells you.
“Don’t worry about it! It’s fine,” you replied, waving your hand in dismissal. “Just thought this’ll go with your metal bracelet.”
He nodded, though there was a somewhat frustrated pout on his expression, muttering something under his breath a soft “thanks,” and placed the gift back in the box, never actually letting you see him wearing it during that moment.
-
Years later, during a photoshoot for the yearly hero gala, Bakugou stood in front of the camera in his full Dynamight suit. The photographer adjusted the lights, snapping rapid shots as Bakugou struck his signature confident poses.
“Hold still,” the stylist said, adjusting his gauntlet slightly. Her eyes flicked to his wrist, and she paused. “Oh, that’s cute. Is that handmade?”
Bakugou blinked, following her gaze. Wrapped around his wrist, right next to his ever-present metal bracelet, was the colorful string bracelet you had made him all those years ago.
He stiffened slightly, but instead of taking it off, he shrugged. “Yeah. What about it?”
The stylist smiled warmly. “It’s a nice touch. Makes you seem... approachable. And quite frankly, it matches your suit.”
Bakugou snorted. “Whatever. Let’s get this over with.”
-
When the photos surfaced online, fans quickly noticed the bracelet. Social media practically exploded that day.
Is Dynamight wearing a friendship bracelet??
A HANDMADE BRACELET ON DYNAMIGHT??
Guys, he’s worn this thing for YEARS. Check the old pictures! 🙂‍↔️
You, of course, caught wind of the news—because honestly, who wouldn’t when it took all social media platforms by storm? You saw the posts one evening while scrolling through your phone. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw the photos. It was unmistakable—the bracelet you had made all those years ago.
Long after your UA days were behind you and your lives had taken you and Bakugou down different paths, the all-too-familiar bracelet made you smile sadly—more nostalgic happiness than actual sadness, really.
You stared at the screen, sighing quietly. You thought back to the last time you’d spoken, to the unspoken decision that had pulled you in different directions. You never thought something as small as a bracelet would still mean anything to him.
You didn’t even think you’d live to see the day he wears it, much less keep it after the years.
But there it was, bright and unapologetic on his wrist, a subtle reminder of a bond that hadn’t completely faded with time.
Somewhere across the city, Bakugou stood on a rooftop, the evening wind tugging at his hero uniform. He glanced down at the bracelet on his wrist, running his thumb over the frayed edges of the string. He smirked to himself, a quiet acknowledgment of the past and the person who’d given it to him.
“Guess you were right,” he muttered, his voice barely audible over the wind. “It does scream Bakugou Katsuki.”
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vanteguccir · 2 days ago
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── ୨୧ ! MIDNIGHT COMPANY
chris sturniolo x reader
SUMMARY: While filming a car video, the triplets witness a girl - Y/N - arguing with her boyfriend. When he smashes her phone and leaves her alone at midnight in the middle of a random parking lot, Chris steps in.
WARNING: Toxic relationship, yelling, fighting, being hurt physically and emotionally, manipulation, panicking.
REQUESTED?: Yes, by anon.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism, copy, or "inspiration"! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.
   ༻✦༺  ༻✧༺ ༻✦༺
Y/N didn't meant for things to end up like that.
She really didn't.
She was just walking alongside her boyfriend through the Target aisles, her eyes darting nervously between the shelves and the floor.
But she should know better. He had already been irritated when they left the apartment - something about her taking too long to get ready - and now, every move she made felt like a mistake.
"Stick close." Her boyfriend had muttered, his voice low but firm. His eyes darted around the store, scanning the aisles of brightly colored products with an air of impatience. "I don’t want to spend all night in here."
Y/N nodded quickly, her throat dry.
"Okay."
They made their way down the main aisle, her boyfriend grabbing a few items and putting them into the cart with little regard. It was always like that; he made the decisions, and she just agreed and moved on.
He paused at the end of that same aisle, scanning the shelves with a discerning eye. She lingered a few steps behind, observing.
He grabbed a box of granola bars from the shelf, tossing it into the cart with a louder thud. She winced at the sound, her stomach knotting with unease.
"Why are you standing there? Do you see the cereal we get?" He asked, his tone clipped.
Her throat tightened. She scanned the shelves frantically, her eyes moving over the rows of colorful boxes. She wasn’t sure if it was the green box or the blue one.
"Um, I think..." She started, reaching hesitantly toward one of the options.
"Don’t think. Look." He snapped, already sounding exasperated.
Her hand faltered, and she pulled it back. Her heart was pounding, and her palms had grown clammy against the leather strap of her purse. She wanted to go home.
They turned into the household goods section, where shelves were lined with glass containers, picture frames, and other fragile items. Her boyfriend stopped abruptly, examining a set of drinking glasses with a critical eye.
"Do you think these match the ones we already have?" He asked, holding up a box with pretty crystal wine glasses.
Y/N hesitated, unsure if he wanted an answer or was just thinking out loud.
"I-I think so."
Her boyfriend sighed, setting the box down with a clatter.
"You’re not even paying attention."
"I am." She said quickly, her voice barely above a whisper, desperately searching for his free hand. "I promise."
"Whatever." He muttered, letting her squeeze his fingers once before dropping hers, moving on.
Y/N quickly followed, trying to stay out of his way, her eyes fixed on his tall figure, crossing her hands in front of her body and forcing her brain to pay more attention to anything he touched or pointed out. She couldn't risk him thinking that she didn't care.
As she passed by one of the shelves, her purse brushed against a precariously balanced display of small vases. Time seemed to slow as the first vase teetered, then fell, hitting the shelf below it and sending a chain reaction through the display.
Crash!
The sound was deafening. Glass shattered across the floor, the pieces glinting under the white lights. Y/N froze, her breath catching in her throat. She stared at the mess, her heart pounding so hard she thought it might burst out of her chest.
"Oh my god. Are you serious?" Her boyfriend hissed under his breath.
She dropped to her knees instinctively, trembling as she tried to gather the pieces with her bare hands.
"I’m sorry." She whispered, her voice trembling and desperate.
"You're fucking nbelievable." He muttered under his breath, loud enough for her to hear.
She stopped for a moment, tears prickling at the corners of her eyes. She wasn’t crying because of the spilled glasses. It wasn’t even about the moment itself. It was about the weight of knowing that every mistake she made was a reason for him to get tired of her. To leave her.
"I’m sorry." She whispered, again and again, the words tumbling out of her mouth as though they might undo the damage. "I’m so s-sorry."
But it wasn’t just an apology. It was an instinctive response, born from the fear of making him feel any sort of negative emotion at all. She knew that he wouldn’t brush this off, wouldn’t laugh, and say it was no big deal. He would be mad, and she couldn't let him get mad at her. Not again.
She desperately wanted to shrink herself down into something more digestible for him at that moment. Something he could chew up, spit out, and discard - like gum.
A woman at the end of the aisle glanced over, her expression a mix of surprise and concern. A man on the opposite side peeked around the corner, his eyes narrowing as he took in the scene.
Y/N’s face burned with humiliation. She felt their stares on her, for sure, full of judgment. Her hands fumbled over the shards, shaking too hard to pick them up properly.
Her boyfriend crouched down beside her, his expression now unusually calm. His hand landed on her shoulder, but the grip was firm, bordering on painful.
"Y/N, honey, stop. You’re going to hurt yourself."
"I’m sorry." She whispered again, the tears on her eyes starting to burn her orbs with the force she used to stop the drops from escaping. She couldn’t let him see her break. She’d learned the hard way that crying only made him angrier.
"Stop it." He said more firmly, moving his hand through her arm, grabbing her wrist and pulling her hand away from the glass. He looked up at the people looking back at them and forced a polite, almost apologetic smile. "She’s... a little clumsy. Always has been. Right, honey? I know you didn’t mean to. You can’t help it, can you?"
Y/N stiffened, her stomach churning. She forced her head to move up and down, the movement coming out almost robotic.
"You’re just... distracted. All the time." He continued, his smile cold and tight. "That’s why these things happen. You can’t focus."
She wanted to argue, to tell him that she wasn’t some careless mess, but the words died in her throat. What good would it do?
"Here." He said, taking an empty cardboard box near them and shoving the pieces to the side with it, taking it all out of the way. "There. Fixed. See?"
She nodded, swallowing hard.
"Now, get up."
She stood, her knees wobbling slightly as she adjusted the strap of her purse. He grabbed her arm, his fingers digging into her skin.
"It’s okay." He continued, speaking louder now so the others could hear. "She just gets a little overwhelmed sometimes. Don’t worry, we’ll take care of this."
The man at the end of the aisle nodded, giving her boyfriend a small, understanding smile. The woman pursed her lips and turned away, muttering something about how 'accidents happen'.
"Let’s go." He said through clenched teeth as he started walking toward the exit.
"But-"
"No." His voice was low, but the warning was clear. He smiled tightly at the few remaining onlookers as he dragged her past them.
Her face burned with humiliation, but she kept quiet, her eyes glued to the floor. His grip tightened when her feet seemed to disobey her brain, and she bit the inside of her cheek to keep from crying out.
The automatic doors slid open, and the cool night air rushed over her, but it did nothing to calm the storm inside her head. Her boyfriend’s pace didn’t slow, his hand still gripping her skin as he led her toward the parking lot.
Her heart was pounding, her thoughts spiraling into chaos. She felt like a child being scolded, small and powerless, her voice locked somewhere deep inside her throat.
When they reached the car, he finally let go of her arm, shoving her away as if she were a piece of garbage. She stumbled slightly, catching herself against the side of the car, waiting for whatever came next.
     ༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
From the other side of their spot in the parking lot, the triplets were parked, their van slightly away from the main entrance. It was Wednesday night, and they were filming their weekly video, the interior of the van alive with yells and laughter.
"... No, seriously, people do that sometimes." Chris said, turning slightly towards Matt while trying to prove his point. "Patches O'Houlihan, he did that."
Matt scoffed, looking at him with an 'are you serious?' look.
"From Dodgeball? The fictional character?" He laughed incredulously, looking at Nick through the rearview, ready for another weird thing to come out of Chris's mouth.
Nick's attention, however, wasn’t on him - or them, for that matter. It was on the world outside. He always had a habit of scanning his surroundings, probably in a way of caring for himself and his brothers.
As Chris kept going, earning a loud groan from Matt, Nick’s eyes caught movement across the parking lot, almost exactly in front of their van. Near one of the parked cars, a couple stood in the golden glow of a streetlamp.
Nick’s stomach twisted. Something about the way the guy loomed over the girl, his gestures sharp and erratic, immediately set off alarm bells. The girl was visibly distressed, her arms crossed over her chest, her posture shrinking with every second.
Without thinking, Nick leaned forward and slapped Chris on the shoulder, interrupting him.
"Nick, what the-" Chris began, turning sharply, his annoyance evident.
"Shut up." Nick hissed, his voice low but firm, cutting through Chris’s protest. He nodded toward the couple. "Look."
Chris frowned but followed Nick’s gaze, his expression shifting from irritation to curiosity and then to concern. Matt, who had been in the middle of adjusting his hoodie, leaned closer to the windshield.
"What’s going on?" Matt asked, his voice quieter now.
Nick didn’t answer, instead reaching for the button to lower his window, easing it down. A faint, angry voice carried into the van, growing clearer as the man’s yelling intensified.
"... do you even understand how embarrassing you are?"
The girl stood frozen, her arms clutching her sides as though trying to hold herself together. Her head was bowed, her hair shielding her face from the world. She didn’t respond, didn’t dare to look up, and that only seemed to fuel his anger.
"What the fuck?" Matt muttered, leaning forward slightly to get a better look, his eyes glued to the scene.
"You think I’m joking?" He snapped, stepping closer to her. "You think I enjoy having every pair of eyes in that store on me because you can’t manage to walk without causing a damn scene?" The man continued, stepping closer to her.
Her response was so soft that it barely reached the triplets’ ears.
"I’m sorry..."
"Sorry?" The man laughed bitterly. "You’re always sorry. You’re sorry when you spill coffee, you’re sorry when you trip over your own feet, and now you’re sorry for knocking over half a shelf like a goddamn child?"
The girl flinched at his words, biting her bottom lip while taking a small - almost imperceptible - step back.
Chris tensed after watching her reaction, his jaw tightening.
"This guy’s a piece of-"
"Chris, shush." Matt snapped, his voice low.
"I told you before, didn’t I? Stop acting like a fool every time we’re out in public. This is for your own good." The man spat.
"I didn’t mean to-" She started, but he cut her off quickly.
"Shut up!" He barked, his voice echoing across the lot. She shrank back, her body trembling. "You know better than to talk back to me." He growled, taking another step closer.
"I wasn’t-"
"Stop talking!" He barked, his voice echoing across the empty lot probably louder than intended. "Every time you open your mouth, you make it worse. Do you even understand that? Or are you too stupid to figure it out?"
Tears accumulated inside her eyeballs, shining below the lights.
"Look, I’ll call an Uber, okay?" Y/N murmured, her voice cracking. "You can go home and calm down. Please."
"Oh, you’ll call an Uber? Sure, let’s waste more of my money on your screw-ups." The man’s laugh was sharp and bitter.
She reached into her purse, her hands shaking as she pulled out her phone, unlocking it and trying to search for tha app, being harshly interrupted when the man snatched the device from her grip with such force that she stumbled.
Chris shifted uncomfortably, his fists clenched on his lap.
"Do we step in?"
"I don't think we should, not right now." Nick whispered.
"Give it back. Please, baby." She asked, her voice weak, trembling.
"Why? So you can text your little friends about what a terrible boyfriend I am?" He sneered, holding the phone high above his head.
Y/N's mouth dropped open, her wet eyes widening as if he had just committed the worst crime.
"Baby, please." She begged, her tears now falling freely, causing her voice to break. "I would never ever do that. I love you so much, you know that, right?"
He ignored her. With a single, violent motion, he hurled the phone to the ground. The sound of glass and plastic shattering against the pavement echoed in the silence.
She recoiled as though the blow had landed on her instead of the device, a squeak involuntarily escaping from her mouth. Her arms wrapped tighter around herself as she stared at the broken pieces. Her whole life, broken.
"Should've had taken that shit from you sooner." The man spat, shaking his head. "Pathetic. Can’t do anything right."
Matt and Nick exchanged horrified glances through the rearview, Chris's face pale by their side.
"P-please, don't leave me here, baby. I love you, I'm so sorry." The girl begged, gluing her hands in a praying gesture in front of her body. "I promise I'll do better."
"I can't even look at your face right now." The man shook his head. "I need some time, okay?" He didn't wait for an answer before storming off to the driver-side of his car, slamming the door and speeding out of the lot, tires screeching against the asphalt.
Y/N stood frozen, her trembling figure illuminated by the lights and the moon.
Chris didn’t think. One second, he was staring at her, and the next, his hand was on the van door handle, yanking it open.
"Chris!" Matt hissed from the driver’s seat. "What are you doing?"
"Chris- what the fuck?!" Nick added, his voice urgent but not loud enough to stop him.
But Chris couldn’t wait. He couldn’t sit there any longer, watching this girl suffer alone.
He bolted from the van, the cool night air hitting him like a slap, but he barely noticed. His long strides carried him across the parking lot, his heart pounding not from his pace but from pure urgency.
"Oh my god, he's crazy!" Matt’s groan echoed from behind him, but it was distant, like background noise.
He didn’t stop. He couldn’t stop.
The closer he got, the more his stomach churned. Her face was streaked with tears, her cheeks blotchy and raw from crying. But she wasn’t just crying. She was panicking. He could see it in the way her hands trembled uncontrollably, and in the way her breath came in short, sharp gasps.
Chris slowed as he approached her, not wanting to startle her. She was staring at the exit of the parking lot, her wide, unfocused and tear-filled eyes locked on the gate arm as though it was the only thing anchoring her to the ground.
"Hey." He said softly, his voice gentle but firm.
She flinched, her head snapping up, and her gaze locked on him as she took a step back. For a moment, she looked utterly terrified, and Chris's throat tightened.
He quickly held his hands up, palms out, trying to show her he wasn’t a threat.
"Hey, hey, it’s okay." He said quickly. "I just... I saw what happened, and I wanted to check if you’re okay."
Her lips parted as if she wanted to say something, but no words came out. Instead, a fresh wave of tears spilled down her cheeks. She shook her head, taking another step back, her back almost hitting the metal post of the streetlight.
"You don’t have to be scared." Chris said, his voice softer now, almost pleading. "I’m not going to hurt you, I swear. I just want to help."
She looked at him again, her watery eyes studying his face as though trying to figure out if he was lying.
Chris took a cautious step closer, keeping his movements slow.
"You’re shaking." He said gently. "It's freezing out here. Can I... can I give you my hoodie?"
She blinked at him, her brows furrowing slightly.
"Why?" She croaked, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Because it’s cold, and you’re upset, and I’d feel better if you weren’t standing out here like this." Chris said honestly, shrugging off his hoodie - ignoring how the hairs on his arm fully stood up with the cold air - and holding it out to her.
She hesitated, her eyes darting from his face to the piece of clothing, then back again.
"It’s okay." Chris reassured her. "You don’t have to take it, but I promise it’s clean. And warm."
After what felt like an eternity, she slowly reached out and took the hoodie from him. Her hands were trembling so much that she almost dropped it, but she managed to pull it to her chest, pressing it against her covered skin.
"Thank you." She mumbled, her voice shaky.
Chris exhaled a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.
"Of course. What’s your name?" He asked in a soft tone. "I'm Chris."
She blinked her eyes at him, frowning, clearly surprised by the question.
"Y-Y/N." She said hesitantly.
"Y/N." He repeated, offering her a small, reassuring smile. "It’s really nice to meet you... Um, do you want to sit down? You look like you need a second."
She looked around the parking lot again before nodding slowly, and Chris gestured to the curb nearby. He waited until she sat down before taking a seat a few feet away, giving her space but staying close enough that she wouldn’t feel alone.
For a moment, neither of them spoke.
"I’m fine." She finally said - even though it wasn't what Chris was expecting to hear, her voice cutting through the silence, hoarse and shaky.
Chris tilted his head slightly, his brows furrowing.
"I don’t think you are."
"I am." She insisted, but her voice cracked on the words, betraying her.
Chris turned his face slightly to the side to meet her eyes, curving his upper body, trying to make himself seem less imposing.
"I know you don’t know me. Well, only my name now." He said softly. "But I can tell you’re not fine. And that’s okay. You don’t have to be. Not after that."
She bit her lower lip hard, and for a second, Chris thought she might break down again. But instead, she straightened her spine, her trembling hands wiping at her tear-streaked face.
"It's not as bad as it looked. He was just angry." She said quietly, almost as if she was saying that to herself. "It’s not his fault. I... I messed up."
Chris’s heart sank at her words.
"You didn’t mess up." He said firmly, his voice laced with conviction.
She shook her head, her hands gripping the fabric of his hoodie tightly.
"I did. I dropped something, broke it, actually. It was stupid, and it drew attention to us, and... and he doesn’t like that. He was just trying to make me understand."
Chris stared at her, his chest tightening painfully.
"That’s not okay." He said softly. "No one should treat you like that, no matter what happened."
"You don’t understand." She said, her voice rising slightly as she hugged herself tighter. "He just... he gets frustrated sometimes, but it’s because he cares. He doesn’t mean to be mean."
Chris’s jaw clenched, a mix of anger and sadness boiling inside him.
"Love isn’t supposed to be like that, Y/N." He said gently. "It’s not supposed to hurt you and leave you standing in a parking lot crying, shaking, and alone."
Her eyes filled with fresh tears again, and she looked away, staring at the ground as if she couldn’t bear to meet his gaze.
"You don’t know him." She whispered, shaking her head vehemently.
Chris wanted to scream, to grab her shoulders, and shake her until she understood that what she was describing wasn’t love. It was control, manipulation, and abuse. But even though he had never helped a victim of a toxic and abusive relationship before, he knew he should keep his voice calm, so he did it, maintaining his tone soft and steady.
"You’re right." He said. "I don’t know him. But I know what I saw, and I can only imagine what it feels like to have someone make you think you’re the problem when you’re not."
Her head whipped toward him, her eyes narrowing.
"You don’t know anything about me."
Chris held up his hands.
"You’re right again. I don’t. But I’m not here to judge you. I’m here because I want to help. No strings, no expectations. Just... let me help. I can't leave you alone here for the rest of the night."
She shook her head again, her hands trembling as she brushed her hair out of her face.
"I shouldn’t even be talking to you about this. It isn't fair to him. He’d be so heartbroken if he knew."
Chris watched her for a second too long.
"But you deserve to talk to someone." He finally said. "You deserve to feel safe."
"I am safe!" She snapped, her voice ringing out in the empty parking lot. The declaration sounded hollow, as if she was trying to convince herself more than him.
Chris took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a second.
"I just want to help you." He said, his tone pleading. "Do you have someone you can call? A family member, a friend? You can use my phone-"
Her reaction was immediate and panicked. She shook her head furiously, her eyes wide with fear as her body tightened, seeming ready to stand up and run.
"No! No, I can’t call anyone."
"Why not?" Chris asked gently, though his heart was racing, his eyes traveling quickly to his car where his brothers were before going back to Y/N. "They’d want to help you, just like I do."
"I said no!" She cried, her voice cracking. Her breathing was shallow and quick now, teetering on the edge of hyperventilation. "You don’t understand. I can’t just call someone. And you... you need to go. God, you shouldn’t even be here."
Chris frowned, his brows knitting together.
"Please, I’m just trying to-"
"You don’t get it." She interrupted, her voice hushed but frantic. She glanced around the parking lot as though expecting her boyfriend to be there somewhere, watching them. "He’s going to come back. And if he sees you here, if he thinks... you need to leave. Now."
Chris’s stomach dropped at the sheer terror in her voice.
"Y/N, he won't hurt you in any type of way while I'm here with you. I can promise you that." He moved a bit closer again, careful not to make any sudden movement. "Let me do something for you. Anything, please."
"You can’t." She whispered, her voice barely audible. "No one can. Please, just go. He’s going to be here soon, and I-I can’t let him see you."
She was holding onto that story like it was a lifeline, but the way her hands trembled and her breath hitched betrayed her doubt.
"What if he doesn’t?" Chris asked gently. "What if he’s not coming back tonight?"
Her face fell for a brief moment before she quickly masked it, straightening up.
"He will." She said, though there was no conviction in her tone. "He always does."
Chris nodded, looking around dismissively.
"Okay. Maybe he will. But just in case... maybe you could let me help you. You don’t have to trust me, I get that. I'm a stranger. But let me offer you something. A safe place to wait."
"I don’t have anywhere to go." She admitted, her voice so quiet it was almost lost in the night air. "Just our house. And I don't think I should go back there now."
Chris’s heart twisted at her words and how uncertain they sound, but he kept his expression neutral, careful not to show pity.
"Okay." He said softly. "Then maybe you can just... talk to me. You don’t have to get in my car. We can sit out here. I’ll stay right here in the open where you can see me."
She hesitated, her eyes darting to the ground.
"Why do you care so much?"
Chris crossed his legs above the pavement, relaxing his posture further.
"Because I know what it’s like to feel like you’re on your own." He said simply. "And because I don’t think anyone should have to go through something like this alone. You don’t deserve that."
She hesitated, her gaze watching her hands above her thighs.
"I won’t call the police unless you want me to." Chris added. "I won’t push you to do anything you don't want to do. But you don’t have to deal with this alone."
Her lip quivered, and she closed her eyes tightly, her voice barely a whisper.
"I don’t even know what I’d do."
Chris’s heart ached for her, but he kept his tone steady.
"How about this." He said. "I’ll stay with you until you figure that out. If you want, I can take you to a hotel, or I can help you find somewhere else to stay for the night. But whatever you decide, I’m not going to leave you here."
She was silent for a long time, her shoulders rising and falling with each shaky breath. Finally, she nodded, just once.
"Okay." She said.
Chris exhaled slowly, relief washing over him.
"Okay." He echoed.
For the first time that night, she looked at him fully, her eyes filled with a mix of fear and cautious hope.
He opened his widest smile in response, leaning back slightly with his palms against the curb behind his back and glancing up at the sky.
"You know." He started, his tone casual. "This isn’t exactly the way I imagined spending my Wednesday night."
Her eyes scanned his face carefully, frowning, feeling like she was the one to destroy his day - or night.
"What do you mean?" She asked hesitantly, her voice hoarse.
Chris shrugged, being careful not to mention his career. He didn't want to overwhelm her.
"Well, usually on Wednesdays, I’m sitting in my van with my brothers, arguing over who gets to pick the fast-food spot. We’re probably debating something ridiculous, too."
That earned him the smallest, almost imperceptible twitch of her lips. It wasn’t quite a smile, but it was something. It encouraged Chris to continue.
"My brothers are idiots, by the way." He said, his tone light. "Don’t tell them I said that, though. They'll get big heads thinking I actually pay attention to their nonsense."
Her brow rose slightly, curiosity tugging at the edges of her expression, her body instinctively leaning towards him.
"What are they like?"
Chris chuckled, throwing his head to the side, laying his cheek against his shoulder and looking at her eyes.
"They're amazing. Weird, but amazing. They're so funny in their individual way, always making me laugh so hard that sometimes I feel like I could pass out."
This time, she let out a soft, breathy laugh, and Chris felt a flicker of warmth in his chest. It was small, but it was progress.
"You’re close with them?" She asked quietly.
"Yeah." Chris said, nodding. "It’s hard not to be when you all live and do everything together. But they’re good guys. Annoying as hell, but good."
She looked down at her hands, her fingers fidgeting with the frayed edge of his hoodie sleeve.
"Must be nice." She murmured.
Chris’s smile faltered for a moment, but he recovered quickly.
"It is." He admitted. "But, you know, we fight sometimes. Like, really fight. Last week, Matt threw a punch at me because I wouldn’t stop talking during his game."
Her lips twitched again, and this time, it was a small, shy smile.
"What were you saying?" She asked, her voice soft but carrying a hint of amusement.
"Oh, some random shit. Can’t even remember now. Probably something embarrassing, knowing me." Chris grinned. "Matt said I was ruining his concentration, but honestly, I think he just doesn’t appreciate my brain work."
She shook her head slightly, her smile lingering.
"You’re ridiculous." She said softly, almost reflexively, but as soon as the words left her mouth, her expression shifted. Her body tensed up, her shoulders pulling in as her eyes darted to him in alarm. "I didn’t mean-"
"Guilty as charged." Chris smoothly interrupted her, opening a smirk while looking at her, trying to express through his eyes that it was okay. "But, hey, if ridiculous is what it takes to make you laugh, then I’m all in."
Her looked down again at the pavement, scraping her shoes over the small rocks.
"Thanks." She said quietly.
"For what?" Chris asked, his voice gentle.
"For... keeping me company." She said, her gaze fixed on her lap. "I don’t feel... as bad right now."
Chris felt a lump in his throat but pushed it down, keeping his tone light.
"Anytime." He said. "I’ve got a whole arsenal of dumb stories and good jokes if you need them."
She looked at him then, her eyes softer than before.
"You’re really nice." She said, pressing her lips in a fine line.
Chris shrugged, a faint blush creeping up his neck.
"I just don’t like seeing people hurt." He said honestly. "And, I don’t know, you seem like someone who deserves a lot better than... all this."
Her eyes filled with tears, and for a moment, Chris thought she might start crying again. Instead, she took a deep breath and nodded.
"Thanks." She said again, her voice steadier this time.
Chris gave her a warm smile.
"No problem. Now, how do you feel about bad puns? Because I’ve got a killer one about a duck and a lawyer."
Her laughter filled the cold night air, causing a large smile to stretch across Chris's lips. He would do everything in his power to help this girl.
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1K notes · View notes
antimonyandthyme · 2 days ago
Note
WHAT IF CARCAR REALLY HAD MAGNETS BETWEEN THEM
/or a stuck together au
“It’s like Eat Pray Love,” Carlos says.
“I’ll be honest,” Guanyu says. “Neither of you remind me of Julia Roberts much.”
“Please just,” Oscar massages the bridge of his nose, “point to a place on the map. Any place.”
“Why China,” Guanyu presses. Of course he’s curious. “Why not Spain or Australia?”
“Neutral ground,” Oscar says quickly.
“Ah I see,” Guanyu says. “You can’t agree on a spot, right?”
“I keep telling him,” Carlos says, always with the over-the-top gesticulating. He tries it with both hands first, then realizes Oscar’s being all sorts of petty and weighing his left arm down on purpose where they’re joined, so he continues gesturing eagerly with his right. “Come to Madrid!” He nearly smacks Oscar in the nose with his hand. Oscar scowls. “We have so much good food. I can show you all the things, but no! Piastri will only agree to get sunburned on Australian sand. We have beaches in Spain, too!”
“Guanyu,” Oscar urges, “a place, now.”
“Here,” Guanyu says, index finger plopping down. Like some cartoon scene, both Oscar and Carlos automatically lean in to squint at the map, and bump their heads against each other.
“I hate you.”
“Hard same.”
“Lijiang is actually a famous honeymoon destination,” Guanyu says.
“I hate you,” Carlos says.
“Hard same,” Oscar says.
“Hey.” Guanyu grins like this entire situation is wildly hilarious. Maybe it is, for everyone else. Oscar kinda wants to jump into the sea, but Carlos will only drag him down, their uncoordinated conjoined limbs tangled and thrashing. “You guys asked me to choose. Look, don’t you want to see pandas?”
Carlos makes some sort of shocked noise. Oh, for the love of—Oscar groans. He knows when someone’s just bought something.
“Carlos wants to see pandas,” Guanyu says, sounding far too delighted. “Chengdu’s like a fourteen-hour drive from Lijiang, that’s totally doable.”
They stare at him blankly.
“Oh my god. Chengdu, you know? Research base for giant panda breeding? Panda capital of China?”
Twiddle-Dum and Twiddle-Dee: “Ohhhhh.”
“Yeah, now you got it. In between, you can hit a dozen other places and never grow bored.” Guanyu taps his finger along the map, tick, tick, tick. “So why not? Complete the journey. Transform into Julia Roberts.”
“And break the curse,” Carlos says solemnly.
“Break the curse,” Oscar repeats miserably, but with his left hand, goes to look up flight tickets on his phone.
--
They discover that the only way they can pull on extra layers is if they yank themselves apart with all their might, creating just a sliver of space between their elbows. It’s painful. Oscar never wants to have to do this again.
“Now,” Carlos yells, and in a flurry of movement Oscar gets his coat on before their elbows snap back together.
Ow, ow. Oscar’s eyes are watering. He suspects Carlos’s is doing just the same.
“Okay, okay,” Oscar says. “Now your turn.”
Carlos waves him off. “I’m not cold.”
Oscar opens his mouth to argue, but Carlos is already dragging them off toward a sign with a car on it. The rental cars are left-hand steering, and it dawns on both of them at the exact time that Oscar will be doing all the driving, with the way they’re stuck to each other.
“No fair,” Carlos moans, as Oscar fist pumps the air. It would be too childish to stick his tongue out at Carlos. So he doesn’t.
A part of Oscar’s a spectator to all of this. Watching with his mouth hanging wide open, some disembodied shade looking from outside in, as his own body purchased tickets, packed a luggage (with Carlos in the same room), and boarded a plane. None of this makes sense. Getting into a car with Carlos, firstly. Then with the added condition that both of them have to clamber in from one side, before Carlos can climb over the middle console into the passenger seat. Fourteen hours of this, huh? He’s going to give Guanyu hell when they get back.
If, they make it back. Oscar guesses it’ll be two hours before they attempt to murder each other. You don’t go road tripping with people you can’t stand. It’s the one and only sacred rule of road tripping.
“I think I saw this in Final Destination.”
Oscar, zoned out staring at the road, manages a stupid, “What?”
“You know that pileup where everyone dies?”
“Everyone always dies in Final Destination.”
Carlos rolls his eyes, shakes their joined elbows for emphasis. “The scene where the logs fall off? A lot of screaming? A lot of swerving? All because they were stuck behind a logging truck?”
“Carlos.” Oscar takes one deep, deep calming breath. “Are you asking me to overtake?”
“If you can, yes,” Carlos says, like Oscar’s the one being thick. “Go on. I’ll help you hold the wheel steady.”
Oscar cranes his neck and glances around the side of the truck. The opposing lane seems clear, not a headlight in sight. What the heck. You can take the driver off a track, but he’ll still want to race.
“Woo!” Carlos yells, as Oscar zooms around the steadily plodding truck. A little clumsy, with Carlos almost overcompensating the steer as they merge back into the right lane, but successful, nonetheless. No one dies.
Mismatched hands on the wheel. Adrenaline spiking for just a few seconds of speed. Oscar finds himself wearing a grin to match Carlos’s. Maybe they’ll cut it down to thirteen and a half hours like this.
--
“Guanyu was right,” Carlos says thoughtfully.
Oscar’s got his nose buried in a helpful English guide. A sense of ambitious adventure appears to have overtaken them. He wants to hit at least three lookout points today. “About?”
“Look,” Carlos points in some vague direction. “All the couples.”
“Huh,” Oscar says. “That is a lot of couples.”
No one pays them any mind. They haven’t been recognized since they stepped foot here. For all intents and purposes, they could just be another one of those peaceful couples, milling about.
Well. Peaceful, would be a bit of a pipe dream.
“YOU CAN PLAY GOLF AT JADE DRAGON SNOW MOUNTAIN.”
“Carlos,” Oscar hisses. “Quiet.”
“You can play golf,” Carlos repeats, softer but no less excited, eyes larger than two sparkling coins, “at Jade Dragon Snow Mountain!”
Oscar snatches the guide back from Carlos’s hand. “I’m pretty sure I just read that the mountain’s considered holy.”
“They let people play golf on a holy mountain,” Carlos says for the third damn time. “I love it here.”
“We’re not playing golf,” Oscar says.
“Oscar,” Carlos says, dismayed.
“You have one hand, remember?” Oscar wriggles their stuck arms, a reminder he didn’t even know Carlos would have needed.
“Riiight,” Carlos says, shoulders drooping.
“We can still see the mountain though,” Oscar says, is alarmed at the tiny skip-hop going on in his chest when Carlos brightens again. Doesn’t take a lot to keep this guy happy. That’s, good for him. That’s good.
They decide the cable cars up are too much hassle, with the queues already stretching out for hours. The mountain’s basically viewable from anywhere, so Oscar steers Carlos toward Old Town. Where he discovers that Carlos is terrible at haggling. Absolute nightmare. He hands over money to anyone who so much as gestures him over. The singular tote bag Oscar brings starts to get filled with random trinkets, from fans to calligraphy pens.
“What’s this,” Oscar says, when Carlos shakes his head as Oscar prepares to pack away two wooden charms in the shape of a very rotund cat.
“Not for keeping,” Carlos explains. “They’re for wishes. We hang them up in the temple.”
“Oh,” Oscar says. Carlos had gotten one for him too. “I didn’t think you believed in these things.”
“I don’t,” Carlos says quickly, before looking away, like he’s afraid Oscar will laugh at him.
Oscar chews at his lip. He didn’t mean to suggest it was silly. It’s a little unfair for Carlos to think so lowly of him. If they could, this is where they’d walk their separate ways and browse different shops, long enough for the awkward tension to diffuse. Come back refreshed and recharged for more time spent in each other’s company. No such grace, here.
The stream whispers as it flows by the stone-paved path. The wooden house clusters look as if they’re linked, hand to hand, a never-ending line all the way to the top. Everything here’s older than Oscar, older by years and years and years.
“I keep an amulet in my helmet,” Carlos says. His eyes wander around like he’s sightseeing. “I don’t know why I lied.”
“A little belief can’t hurt,” Oscar blurts out, just so Carlos would stop looking so wounded. “That’s what I always say.”
Carlos nudges him. “You never say that.”
Above them, a thousand colorful prayer flags blow gently in the wind. Wooden charms as numerous as the birds adorn the roof of the temple. Wishes for health, prosperity, family. Oscar tries to peek at what Carlos is writing, only for Carlos to shove him away so violently that they both fall over.
Oscar laughs as Carlos strains to keep his charm out of prying reach. No easy task, both of them being joined and all.
May the new year bring surprises and joy. For my family and friends, good health always. For myself—
Oscar wrenches his gaze away. Some things aren’t for anyone else to know.
He watches Carlos hang his charm up carefully. And then Carlos waits, back turned as much as he can, for Oscar to write his own wish. It’s simple. Fast car, many wins. Happiness. Oscar ties his somewhere near Carlos’s. Closes his eyes and listens to them jangle together.
--
For myself, patience.
--
Oscar’s pretty sure he’s dying. He’s pretty sure this is what dying feels like.
“I thought,” he gasps, in between gulps of warm tea that only makes things infinitely worse, “I told her not spicy?”
Carlos is cackling like the unhelpful asshole he is. “This is not spicy.”
When you explore some place new, local recommendations for food are a must. Oscar’s seriously reconsidering Travel Tip 101 when he gets fed hotpot that turns his tongue worryingly numb.
“Well, it is a little spicy,” Carlos concedes. “But nothing I can’t take.”
“Isn’t Spanish food not spicy?”
“It’s not,” Carlos says. “Actually, I wasn’t good at taking spice until after I started driving.” He fans exaggeratedly at Oscar’s overheated mouth, like that could even help an iota. It’s so Carlos it’s endearing. Shit. “I only started putting hot sauce on all my trainer’s meals because everything tasted so bland.”
Oscar coughs, wiping at his leaking nose. “It burns,” he moans.
“There, there,” Carlos says, mock sympathetic. “Don’t cry.”
“Seriously.” Oscar blinks rapidly, is it affecting his eyeballs too? His pulse thuds like the hoofbeat of a runaway horse. “How are you not even sweating?”
Carlos winks at him. “They don’t call me chili for nothing.”
“You’re the worst.”
“Aw,” Carlos says, and finally puts himself to some use by waving down a server, and sweettalking her into bringing a pitcher of iced water over.
Oscar calls first dibs on the shower, claiming the need to wash the spice out of his pores. Carlos rolls his eyes but acquiesces, gallant about it for once. They force themselves not to make it awkward. Pull apart for just long enough to slip their clothes off, eyes everywhere but on each other. Carlos stands outside the curtain as Oscar tries to shampoo and soap himself down in the narrow tub with one hand.
When it's Carlos's turn: “Oh my god,” Oscar says. “Carlos, are you using soap for your hair?”
“I’m trying to be quick,” Carlos says, voice disembodied even though he’s right next to Oscar. Separated by the thinnest sheet of translucent nylon. The shadow of Carlos is unmistakable in the light. The broadness of his shoulders, the tapering of his waist. “So you do not stand outside for forty-five minutes like I did.”
“I didn’t take forty-five minutes!”
Carlos laughs, the cackle now almost familiar. “And how are you knowing I’m using soap? Are you peeking?”
“I hate you,” Oscar says, waits for Carlos to return with a Hard same like they’re in on the same joke. Waits and waits until Carlos emerges from behind the curtain, not fifteen minutes later, lips still sealed together like withholding some secret.
--
As designated shotgunner, with no say in the matter, Carlos is in charge of the GPS and the AUX cord. After the second album of Enrique Iglesias, Oscar relegates him to Captain of Pointing Out Exit Signs Only. Carlos pretends to pout about it, but he reclines his seat, as far back as their joined elbows will allow. Closes his eyes, limbs loose, all relaxed. He looks so good like that, when he’s as easy as easy can be.
Oscar swallows the click in his throat back down.
“I feel bad,” Carlos murmurs, sounding like he’s close to drifting off. “You’re doing all the work.”
“I don’t mind,” Oscar says. He’s getting real good at one-handed maneuvers now. Hah, maybe this will be beneficial on the track. “I hate getting driven. I rather do it myself.”
“Control freak,” Carlos says.
“Yeah,” Oscar admits. “A little bit.”
When Oscar dares to look over at Carlos, there’s a smile curving his lips gently up. They didn’t magically learn how to talk to each other. But it’s a start, trading little morsels of information like passing notes in school.
One of Guanyu’s other suggestions had been Emei Mountain, boasting an altitude of over three-thousand meters and some ridiculous number of stairs.
(Sixty thousand, to be precise. Oscar had opened his mouth to complain, but Guanyu had responded with a report of the monkeys that lived in the mountain. There came that dazed, excited noise from Carlos again, and Oscar knew it was a lost cause.)
Jet-lag’s working in their favour, and they’ve arrived before the tour buses can deposit too many people for them to stomach. Ambitions are dampened when they realize climbing’s harder when surgically joined by some unknown force at the elbow. When Oscar lifts his left leg, his right arm wants to go, which means Carlos’s left arm needs to go, which means Carlos’s right leg needs to lift. They clunk around clumsily for the first chunk of steps, griping and critiquing each other’s technique. The fog rolls in and laps at their ears, and for a while, there’s nothing much to see.
An elderly lady pressures them into an early lunch, and Carlos gives in effortlessly, like always. It ends up being the best thing Oscar’s eaten since coming here. They fight over the last slice of barbecue pork, and Oscar wins, by virtue of being slightly better at using chopsticks.
By the time they’re halfway up, they’ve got climbing down to an art, limbs moving like clockwork around the constriction. Carlos takes advantage of their newfound skill to increase their pace to a march.
“Carlos,” Oscar’s not ashamed to beg. “Please, won’t you stop and look at the monkeys.”
Carlos laughs at him and calls him slow. Because Carlos is crazy, he’s taken off his light sweater even in this weather, and the threadbare white shirt he’s wearing leaves little to imagination. Chest hair, nipples. Oscar looks away before he can be caught staring. The fog’s given way to some amazing views. Rich vegetation, more trees than Oscar’s brain knows what to do with. Beautiful things all around.
Carlos’s face swims into view. “Come on.” The tugging at the elbow doesn’t hurt as much as it did before. “To the top! There are giant golden statues!”
The statues are indeed golden. And they are indeed giant. The largest one weighs six hundred and sixty metric tons, according to the pamphlet. Larger, surely, than the feeling expanding in his lungs.
“Look, Oscar!” Carlos points with their joined arms, all delight.
“Yeah,” Oscar says. Quickened pulse from the strenuous activity, and he wills it to settle. Control freak. “I’m looking.”
--
Designated phone time on the bed is an hour long. Oscar uses it to text his mum, sift through photos from the day. With how close they’re forced to be, it’s hard to get a picture without a body part of Carlos making its way in. Oscar finds he doesn’t quite mind. He’s got one of the cloudless, blue sky, the backdrop for the Leidongping cable car station. Carlos is pointing at something again, his finger situated artistically right in the middle of the lidless eye of the sun.
Guanyu’s the one who got them into this mess, so he probably deserves a photo update. Oscar sends it over WhatsApp and receives an O-M-G!!! in return, along with nine panda emojis.
No pandas, we’re not at Chengdu yet, Oscar types.
Honestly, I’m surprised you even made it this far, Guanyu says.
Wow, thanks
Oscar squints, rereads Guanyu’s message.
Wait, you were the one who gave us this itinerary!
Hahaha, is all Guanyu says, followed by multiple peace sign emojis.
加油!
Oscar has to google translate that, learn that it means to add oil. To go for it. Go for what?
“Teto says he wishes he was here too,” Carlos says sleepily, looking up from his phone.
“Teto’s out of luck,” Oscar says, ignoring the flash of something hot and possessive down his spine.
He plucks Carlos’s phone out of his willing fingers. Reaches over Carlos for the pull chain of the lamp. Beneath him for just a second, Carlos shifts, comfortable, cozy. Oscar gets the ludicrous notion that if he were to collapse down, right now, Carlos’s body would welcome him.
Shit. How long until they come apart?
Click, off go the lights. Meekly, Oscar makes his way back to his designated side of the bed. Carlos mumbles a soft Good night. More intimate than he could ever mean. Oscar mumbles something back, and satisfied, Carlos closes his eyes. He likes sleeping on his side. Coincidences of coincidences, so does Oscar. Carlos falls asleep faster though, and it gives Oscar a lot of time to stare without accusation. Trace the planes and slopes of Carlos’s face before he drifts off himself.
--
At long last. Chengdu panda base.
After jostling with the crowds to watch the pandas tumble around for their food, then tumble around to play, then tumble around to sleep, Oscar turns to Carlos.
“Well?”
“Eh,” Carlos makes a see-saw motion with his hands. “It’s a little anti-climatic.”
Oscar barks out a laugh. A joined body part, three shared showers, thirteen and a half hours in a car together later, and Carlos still surprises him. He really doesn’t do Oscar well on a neurochemical level.
“Isn’t this what you came here for?”
“I thought it was,” Carlos says. It’s no longer only their elbows touching. Now it’s bicep to little pinky, pressed up against each other like puzzle pieces which fit slightly crooked. One long, unbroken line of heat. “I thought—”
Carlos tapers off. Oscar waits.
“Well, it’s the journey that counts, right?”
“Uh huh.”
“They’re very cute, too.”
“Uh huh,” Oscar says. “Pictures or Guanyu’s never going to believe we made it here.”
Oscar takes one of Carlos with a sleeping mama panda in the background. He’s halfway through checking if it’s any good when Carlos grabs the phone.
“Come here,” he says.
It’s not easy arranging themselves together and catching a panda as well, but heck, didn’t they climb sixty-thousand stairs with some careful coordination? Carlos holds out the phone with his right hand, smooshes their cheeks together. The scrap of Carlos’s stubble against his skin—that’s, there’s a new sensation, in every way possible.
“Say panda,” Carlos says.
“Panda,” Oscar says, the same way he would say, Alert, or Danger, or Abort. His cheeks are going to show up pink in the photo. And Carlos will notice and say something completely asinine—
“Hee hee,” Carlos says. “Your eyes are closed, Oscar.”
--
Once they get enough panda souvenirs to shower the grid, the rest of the day passes in the laziest of fashions. They’ve hit their goal now, so there’s no need to rush. Oscar actually bothers to look through Yelp for restaurant options, and after all his hard work, gets yanked by Carlos into some random alleyway with plastic stools to eat hand-pulled noodles.
Meandering like leaves on an easy stream down the folk and culture street, the promise of a hot shower eventually calls to them. Oscar, gentleman that he is, lets Carlos go first.
Oscar stares unblinkingly at a water spot on a tile as Carlos hums and soap himself, as easy and as relaxed as if he weren’t stuck with Oscar listening to the way the water hits his skin. The first time in the shower, when Oscar had unwittingly brushed his hands over his dick, he’d jumped, then stood still for a whole minute, waiting for Carlos to call him out on it. It’d felt forbidden, with Carlos standing not two inches away.
To Carlos’s credit, he doesn’t punch Oscar when the curtain is pulled back, with a force that can only be described as resolution. He only yelps like a little pup, clapping his free hand over his chest, before the hand trails self-consciously down.
“I’ll help you shampoo,” Oscar says. “It’s faster this way.”
“Well,” Carlos says, “if it’s faster.”
They’re staying at the Shang this time, and there’s fancy shampoo smelling like bergamot and orange. Oscar douses Carlos with half a bottle, squeezing too much out by accident. He keeps bumping his hand into Carlos’s while they attempt to scrub. The lather gets into Carlos’s eyes, and Oscar has to try and hide his smile while Carlos whines piteously. It’s not actually faster in any way.
“There, there,” Oscar says, in a similar tone as to when Carlos had observed Oscar leaking copious fluids over hotpot. “Baby.”
Carlos makes a face and pretends to start crying again, and something terribly fond constricts the entirety of Oscar’s ribcage.
Towelling each other dry is a whole new learning curve, just like putting clothes on, and driving one-handed, and climbing stairs. They’re looking at each other this time, too. That’s also new. Huh. Carlos is very, very gentle as he dries the back of Oscar’s ears. The kind of gentle that speaks of someone having done this for him before, resulting in an insistence in getting this right. Oscar gets all warm, even with the water cooling rapidly on his skin.
“Phone time?”
“No need,” Carlos yawns.
It’s Carlos that leans over this time for the light switch, even though Shang’s posh enough to have light switches at both sides for easy access. Carlos hovers over Oscar for a suspended moment, and Oscar sucks in a breath, straining with anticipation. The head pat is unexpected, but enough for now.
Satisfied, Oscar closes his eyes.
--
“Hey!” Carlos exclaims. “Oscar, we’re free!”
“Whuh,” Oscar says blearily. He’ll never acquire Carlos’s habit of waking up at eight.
“Look, look,” Carlos says, all childish delight. He waves his arms in front of Oscar’s face. Both his arms.
“Hey!” Oscar says, shooting up, suddenly awake.
“Yeah!”
“So all we needed was a shower?”
“Oscar,” Carlos says disapprovingly. “It wasn’t just a shower. We wrote this on prayer cards.” Oscar doesn’t point out neither of them wrote this on a prayer card. “We climbed a mountain. We saw pandas!”
“And took a shower,” Oscar says.
Carlos sniffs. “Have it your way.”
“Fine, fine,” Oscar says. It’s too early to be feeling all warm and crumbly, like the center of a freshly baked pie. “It was the journey that counts, yes?”
“Yes,” Carlos nods. “Maybe. Maybe it was something I—we had to learn. In preparation for. For—”
May the new year bring surprises and joy. For myself, patience.
Their hands are no longer joined, but Oscar takes Carlos’s, and presses a quick, dry kiss to the backs of his knuckles. Carlos is so surprised he lets him.
“Ah,” Carlos says, voice trembly and a little hopeful. “What happens now?”
Oscar looks down at their hands. Going through all of this to separate, only to choose to stay touching. There’s something about a journey being full circle, but Oscar doesn’t want to finish that thought for fear of actually transforming into Julia Roberts. And anyway—
“Now we drive back.”
They’re not near done, yet.
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psychoticfemmm · 23 hours ago
Text
flashpoint
pairing: rafe cameron x pogue!reader
summary: Rafe and the reader argue over a reckless stunt the reader pulled with the Pogues, escalating into a heated confrontation. The reader diffuses the tension in an unexpected way
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The argument had escalated far more than you’d intended. Rafe stood in front of you, his jaw tight, eyes blazing with frustration.
“You’re unbelievable!” he snapped, pacing back and forth, his voice sharp with anger. “Do you even realize how reckless that was? Running around with them, pulling some stupid stunt like that? You could’ve gotten hurt—or worse!”
You sighed, crossing your arms. “They’re my friends, Rafe. You don’t get to tell me what I can and can’t do with them.”
“They’re Pogues!” he shot back, his tone dripping with disdain. “And they’re going to get you killed! You’re not—”
“I am a Pogue!” you interrupted, your voice rising. “And I’m not going to stop being one just because you don’t like it!”
“That’s not the point!” Rafe barked, his hands running through his hair in frustration. “The point is you’re putting yourself in danger for no reason!”
You rolled your eyes, even though deep down, you knew he was right. The stunt you’d pulled with the Pogues earlier—a daring boat jump into rocky waters—had been reckless. But admitting that to Rafe? Not happening.
“You’re overreacting,” you muttered, avoiding his glare.
“Overreacting?” He stepped closer, his blue eyes narrowing. “You were one wrong move away from cracking your head open, and you think I’m overreacting?”
You bit your lip, guilt settling in your chest. He wasn’t wrong, but you hated how smug he’d look if you admitted it. Instead, you crossed your arms tighter and met his glare with your own.
“Okay, fine! I get it!” you snapped. “You’ve made your point. Can you stop yelling now?”
But Rafe wasn’t done. “No, I’m not stopping, because clearly, you don’t get it. You can’t keep pulling this crap and expecting me to just—”
“Rafe,” you interrupted, your voice unusually sweet, but he was too wound up to notice.
“And another thing, you’re so—”
Before he could finish, you grabbed the hem of your top and yanked it up, exposing your bare chest.
The silence was immediate.
Rafe’s mouth opened, then closed. His eyes darted from your face to your chest and back again, his expression shifting from anger to shock, then to something far darker.
“You didn’t just—” he started, his voice lower now, almost husky.
“You were yelling,” you said simply, biting back a smirk.
For a moment, he stood there, clearly torn between finishing the argument and giving in to the temptation in front of him. Then, with a soft curse under his breath, he crossed the room in two long strides.
“You’re impossible,” he murmured, his hands sliding around your waist as he pulled you close.
“And yet, here you are,” you teased, your voice barely a whisper.
He smirked, his lips brushing against yours. “You think you can just flash me and win every argument?”
“Worked, didn’t it?” you shot back, grinning.
Rafe didn’t answer, not with words, anyway. His mouth claimed yours in a heated kiss, the frustration from before melting into something much more electric. His hands roamed your sides, his grip firm, his movements deliberate.
“You’re lucky you’re cute,” he murmured against your lips, his tone laced with amusement and desire.
“And you’re lucky I know how to shut you up,” you replied, your breath hitching as he trailed kisses down your neck.
₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊
sorry I went missing for a while but im backkkk 𓈒ㅤׂ 𝜗𝜚
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esouliie · 10 hours ago
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Christmas at the Romanoff’s
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(natasha romanoff x reader) & (platonic!yelena belova x reader)
tags | christmas headcanon – friends to lovers, first kiss, fluff and comfort!
notes | hello, pls take this small headcanon as a thank you for reading and supporting all my fics even though i cannot keep up with demand lmao. i promise to do better in the new year. merry christmas! <3
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It’s your first Christmas with Natasha, and you quickly discover that the Black Widow is… not exactly a holiday enthusiast. At least, not in the traditional sense. When you first arrived at the apartment she shares with her sister, you were greeted by Yelena’s unholy mix of holiday cheer and chaos. Mismatched ornaments hung precariously from a tree that was way too big for their living room, a plate of burnt cookies sat on the counter, and garish Christmas music blared at an almost concerning volume. Natasha, however, looked like she was about two seconds away from wrapping the excessive lights around her neck.
“I hate Christmas music,” Natasha mutters under her breath as you hang up your coat. Yelena’s halfway through yelling “All I Want for Christmas is You” with a Santa hat perched at an angle on her head. “She’s been doing this for weeks,” she adds, her voice low like it’s some covert confession. It takes you all but twenty minutes to realise that Natasha has a very complicated relationship with Christmas. She doesn’t hate it exactly—she just doesn’t really know what to do with it. With all the joy. When you try to hand her a burnt gingerbread cookie, she looks at it like it’s some kind of alien artifact. “Why would I eat a cookie shaped like a man?” She asks flatly, before breaking it in half like it personally offended her.
She then proceeded to argue how she’d be more likely to eat one of these ‘monstrosities’ if it was shaped like a woman…
But there are little moments where she tries, and it’s adorable in the most understated way. You catch her quietly fixing the crooked ornaments on the tree when she thinks no one’s looking, muttering under her breath about how “the reds need to go next to the greens.” One night, after Yelena goes to bed, you find Natasha scrolling through YouTube tutorials for how to wrap presents, muttering curses in Russian every time the tape sticks to her fingers.
And then there’s the stockings. Yelena insisted everyone have one, even though Natasha grumbled about it. But before you went to bed on Christmas Eve, you noticed that Natasha’s stocking was the most stuffed. There’s a random assortment of things crammed in there—protein bars, an extra pair of thick socks, a tiny first aid kit. You don’t have to ask to know that she filled her own stocking, long before Christmas Eve. The thought makes your heart ache in the sweetest, saddest way. She spent so many holidays alone that it just… became her normal.
Finally, it’s Christmas morning and Natasha is draped over the couch like a cat, one leg tucked under her, watching as you and Yelena clean up the mess from last night. She’s quiet, sipping a mug of tea, but you’ve learned by now that quiet Natasha doesn’t exactly mean unhappy Natasha. In fact, she looks content—eyes crinkling every time Yelena grumbles about your “lack of enthusiasm” in picking up all the decorative pillows.
What really steals the show, though, is the mountain of presents you’ve brought. You didn’t mean for it to get out of hand, but once you started, it was impossible to stop. You’d see something and think, Yelena would love this, or Natasha would smile at that, and next thing you knew, you were hauling six bags into their apartment like some sort of festive mule. When the gift exchange begins, Yelena dives into her pile like a kid on sugar overload. Her laughter is infectious as she opens each one: a set of retro pins for her jacket, a waffle maker, a framed picture of you and her after a mission (that one earns a rare hug). She’s glowing, grinning so wide it’s almost blinding. Natasha just sits there, watching her sister, her fingers loosely holding the edge of the blanket draped over her lap.
You notice she hasn’t opened her gifts yet—not even the ones with her name written in your careful handwriting. You nudge her gently, teasing, “what’s the matter, Romanoff? Afraid you’ll cry if I outdid you?” She gives you a half-smile, the kind that makes your chest ache a little because it’s soft in a way she rarely lets herself be. “Just... enjoying the show” She says, her gaze flicking back to Yelena, who is now holding up a pair of horrible light-up slippers you found at a charity shop.
When Natasha finally opens her gifts, it’s much slower, deliberate. You’re nervous, even though you know she’ll never let you see it if she doesn’t like something. But the small things you picked—a leather journal, a new cream scarf, a rare first edition of a spy novel she once mentioned—earn a quiet “thank you,” each one accompanied by that little smile. It’s the last gift, though, that gets you. It’s a snow globe. Inside, there’s a tiny replica of a mountain standing tall in the heart of Russia, the one Natasha had mentioned missing when she told you about her childhood. The one she only saw once and yet managed to comfort her throughout her life. Her fingers tighten around it, and for a moment, her expression shifts—just enough for you to catch it. Sadness, maybe, or longing.
She doesn’t say much after that. But when you look at her later, as Yelena’s dancing around in her ridiculous slippers and yelling about how she’s making everyone waffles tomorrow morning, Natasha’s looking at you like maybe you’re the best gift she’s ever gotten. And maybe she wouldn’t mind Christmas each year if you were around.
Later that night, you find her in the kitchen with a mug of hot chocolate she swore she didn’t want. The two of you stand there in the soft glow of the tree lights, listening to Yelena snore on the couch. “I don’t really get Christmas.” She admits softly, her voice barely audible over the crackle of the fake fireplace video Yelena left running on the TV. “But… I think this year was nice.” And when she looks at you, the faintest hint of a smile tugging at her lips, you know she means it.
Without thinking, you step closer, reaching out to brush a stray curl from her face. “It’s more than nice. I’m so happy.”
And that’s when you hear it—a distant jingle. You glance up, realising Natasha’s holding a tiny branch of mistletoe above your heads, her expression smug but her cheeks just the faintest flush of pink. “Well, would you look at that…” You murmur, before giggling at her antics. She leans in slowly, her breath warm against your skin. The kiss starts soft, hesitant, like she’s testing the waters. But when you cradle her face in your hands, she melts into it, kissing you deeper, with a tenderness that leaves you breathless.
And when you finally pull back, her forehead resting against yours, she exhales a quiet laugh. “Okay,” she admits, her voice barely above a whisper, “maybe Christmas isn’t that bad.”
From the living room, Yelena’s snore breaks the silence—loud and obnoxious. Natasha groans, but you can see the affection in her expression when she shakes her head. “Don’t tell her I said that.” She adds, smirking. And just like that, the moment is gone, replaced by the familiar warmth of Natasha’s dry humor.
But later, when you catch her adding an extra blanket over Yelena on the couch, you realise that maybe, Natasha likes Christmas more than she’d like to admit. And maybe this Christmas might bring more than just holiday cheer.
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lesbianonna · 1 year ago
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i’m starting to understand why my lead is the way she is…
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mxtxfanatic · 1 year ago
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Ngl, I’m actually pretty uncomfortable reading my old posts defending the goodness of the common people and their right to defend themselves—as persecuted groups or as individuals—from hierarchical tyranny, given how easily in this current irl moment a not-insignificant amount of people have fallen into supporting an active genocide, because I cannot separate this from how much pushback I got (and still sometimes get) for being consistent in my politics
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imthursdaysyme · 2 years ago
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Sleepover shenanigans
#drawing#steve harrington#stranger things#robin buckley#stobin#they were in her room arguing like old married couple#listen steve just doesn’t understand how she can’t do it bc he thinks she can do anything#he said what tf do you mean you don’t have abs and rob was like bestie I don’t work out they aren’t strong I’m a limo noodle#and he was like well girl get on that I don’t want you to die bc you didn’t keep your body healthy istg your worse than Henderson#and she was like HEY I do plenty of things such as ride my bike and he said ok then why are your thighs the size of my forearm#and he keeps yelling at her to use her core and she’s screaming at him that she’s trying#and he’s holding her leg#but we’ll rob flails and her heel whacked him in the eye so he feel back#hit the wall thought he was dead#dropped rob to the ground and shes cursing like an d man that had to get up from his chair#and she’s like why’d you drop me and he doesn’t respond so she looks over#and my man is out for the count with another black eye#she thinks she killed him and worries that after years of demogorgons and Russians the thing that kills Steve Harrington is#Robs sharp ass heel#she pushes him under the bed and covers him with blankets and then goes to sleep#except he wakes up at like 2am and she screams worse than when she saw a ud creature for the 1st time and whacks him back down and BAM#he is out again and now Robin is freaking out more bc omg she killed her platonic soulmate and he came back to life only for her to kill him#AGAIN#she wonders if she can be tried for double manslaughter on one man but how would they know? then rob realized she can’t testify bc#she’ll tell everything if she gets up on the stand and she won’t just be sentenced for life she’ll be sentence for TWO lives#but then she’s like omg I deserve two life sentences to honor Steve even though he wouldn’t be in jail she just assumes he goes with her#even her own prison sentence for his murder#the next time Steve wakes up he inches out and flips on her to tame her flailing limbs and she starts crying saying#I killed you twice but my love for you is so strong it brought you back a third time and steve is like you knocked me out shithead you didnt#murder me Jesus Christ and she’s like how do you k ow and he’s like omg how do I know
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dienothemink · 1 year ago
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no one except the tumblr moash enjoyer squad is talking about how elhokar imprisoned moash’s best friend as well as his grandparents…..
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if I have to argue with one more person about why they’re not allowed to fill their meds 3 weeks early or how the pharmacy doesn’t control the window their insurance enforces I’m going to end up on a crime documentary I am going to commit homicide of such a Dexter degree that future historians will throw up at the mention of my name
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frooogscream · 1 year ago
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So David making the show gayer and listening to his collaborators... is a bad thing. Even if you weren't twisting his words, you're not making the point you think you are.
I did never say anything like that, what I sad is that the show was never supposed to be so queer in the beginning and that pretty much all of the queer details about the characters came from the queer actors. My conclusion was not “David Jenkins bad because he didn’t want to make a queer show”, my conclusion was “it is beautiful that these queer people poured their hearts into it and created something with a lot of meaning for other queer people”.
Yes I also used phrases like “we were never even supposed to have what we got” and “This show was NEVER supposed to give us beautiful things and treat it’s queer characters with “kindness”! It was NEVER supposed to be for queer people!”, implying that I personally felt like s2 made some choices that I, with my personal experience as a queer person was disappointed in (such as cutting all the poly scenes and killing of the older queer characters right after giving him a coming out arc, in doing so removing an actor who is very vocally supportive of trans people which I, as a trans person appreciate and used the opportunity on convention panels to talk about queer rights and removing the only of the three most central characters in s2 actually played by a queer person, etc.).
But that was just a tiny and implied undertone in an overwhelmingly positive post, in which I praise the cast of the show. And for the record, I DO think that it is great that DJ made these adjustments, I work in theater and occasionally in film and know that it is also not uncommon or bad to make changes as the project evolves and actors flesh out the roles more. I simply pointed out that he is not the one who originally had the ideas to make it this queer and that he originally didn’t plan to let the main queer love story end with a happy ending. Firstly this is not a bad thing, there are a lot of shows out there that aren’t queer, no body is “required” to make queer shows. Secondly where the hell am I twisting his words, he LITERALLY said all of the things I listed as changes towards a more queer show himself and you can find all the interviews linked in the source I gave in my post! Again the over all tone of my post was “oh my god, look what crazy info I stumbled upon and isn’t it fucking fantastic that these gorgeous queers have turned this regular show into something that means so much to us”. And that you manage to take that positive post and read something sooooo negative into it, just because someone dares to say that maybe David isn’t this amazing queer rights activist that some fans make him out to be and didn’t plan on making a revolutionary queer show, is honestly baffling to me.
I am also not “trying to make any point”, this is my personal block with barely 30 followers where I described my personal feelings towards factually true information and my personal feelings are:
I fucking love Vico, I fucking love Con, I fucking love Kristian (also Nathan and every queer person who worked on this behind the scenes) but I’m not gonna kiss David Jenkins feet for something that wasn’t even his idea, I don’t “owe” a cis straight guy who dosnt understand half of why the things his queer cast came up with are so important, gratitude. I gladly and freely extend a big fucking chunk of gratitude to queer actors who put their heart and soul into their queer roles way more then they are required to. Hope this helps.
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raeathnos · 11 months ago
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#apparently I’m not done being mad about this I’m sorry guys I gotta vent#my dad is like an ox and never sick and like not very understanding with health issues/general illness#which you’d think he would have been after having me the super sickly child with a ton of health issues but no#we have a positive Covid case in the house and I have the same fucking symptoms I just started later#I have taken two tests- one yesterday and one today#and he yelled at me saying I’m wasting tests and also that I’m apparently fine which like#even if I somehow don’t catch covid I’m still sick but okay dad 🫠#if it helps put things into a better perspective… did yall know that back in November after I had my 3rd fucking endometriosis surgery#he asked why I was off work for two weeks and why I didn’t go back the day after surgery?#like I had had this surgery twice before and at home recovery was also two weeks both those times#but moreover like sir I have 3 incisions in my abdomen and my job requires me to left 50lbs???#at which point he still insisted I was fine and was just being ‘dramatic’ 🙃#I wanna fucking scream#I’m lissed the fuck off#did yall know he nearly got me killed once because I had neurovirus and he refused to take me to the er?#I eventually lost consciousness from severe dehydration- he thought I was sleeping and continued to argue with my mom that I was fine 🫠#they eventually took me but I was unconscious for several hours and it took five bags of iv fluid for me to regain consciousness#and the doctor estimated I was about two hours away from death so like#yeah#if that gives yall a better idea of the shit I’m putting up with#I have like zero tolerance for dealing with his bullshit when I’m sick#it’s the trauma from not fucking being believed for years of my life about any of my illnesses#and like also the fucking almost dying part#fun times 🫠#I’m sorry I’m ranting so much today I’m just really fucking done and have no other outlet 🙃
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the-abyssal-system · 5 months ago
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Singlets stop talking about systems as if you’re an expert because you follow some on tumblr challenge (also warning the tags here are a huge rant so feel free to ignore that)
#first off I think most syscourse is stupid#at the end of the day you’re just arguing with strangers on the internet who probably aren’t going to change their opinion on anything#you’re not going to do anything but make yourself upset and waste you’re time#if someone’s spreading misinfo and they refuse to listen when corrected (assuming you’re actually trying to be helpful instead of just#yelling at them for being wrong because if someone did that to me I wouldn’t listen either) just block and move on#anyway to get the point of this post#I’m in a discord server with this one person and I can’t even remember why or how the topic of syscourse came up (it’s a fandom server)#and this person (a singlet) starts going on a rant about how having x belief about systems is inherently ableist and you shouldn’t trust#anyone who believes that#and it’s like you don’t even have the disorder you don’t have the lives experience to be able to talk on these things#like I guess have an opinion sure but don’t go around telling people (mostly other singlets) what is and isn’t right about a disorder that#your only info on is from people on tumblr#and I didn’t say anything about it because this server is really good for finding places to watch/listen to hard to find or expensive media#and I just didn’t want to fucking deal with it but like if you’re a singlet don’t go around telling people what they should believe about#systems or how cdds work especially when you’re not an expert and you haven’t done actual research into the subject#(also I’m purposely not saying the specifics of what was being said because I don’t want to deal with anyone seeing this and wanting to#argue about those specifics because as I’ve said before arguing about system stuff on the internet is largely pointless)#system#syscourse
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lesbianlenas · 10 months ago
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my brother today. first of all saying to me “you wouldn’t have a problem getting a bf” which was like WHY are you saying that to me. and my mom was like “who says she wants one???” immediately she’s so 😭 and then he said to me that patriarchy isn’t real i’m delusional for saying it is & he thought i knew better than that i was legit like. FLOORED. how does one become 10x more demonic in 3 months……
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writerfae · 1 year ago
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Here's an interesting question:
What would have happened if Aiden looked like their mom and Henry didn't? I think this would affect so many things like maybe then Aiden would have been the one that Milan took his grief out on? What would Henry have done then? Or maybe Milan wouldn't have done that since Aiden was so small?
This is really an interesting question!
If Aiden were the one who looked like his mother, it would definitely change Milan’s relationship to him.
Yes, he’d make his father’s grief worse because he’d remind him of her. Milan would shut down/have a breakdown when he sees him on a bad day, like he did when seeing Henry.
And I think that would break Aiden’s heart a little and he’d probably feel guilty. It would definitely cause a distance between them. (Which would be pretty sad, especially since like I mentioned they have a close bond.)
Yet, I don’t believe Milan would take his grief out on Aiden. Because here’s the thing: him fighting with Henry sometimes had nothing to do with the fact that Henry looks like Ranva.
I think in the end it would still be Henry that gets to witness Milan’s misguided anger the most. Especially since even in canon he tended to shield Aiden from his father’s occasional bad moods.
So he would probably still end up leaving. The difference would be that after he was gone Milan wouldn’t start to feel a little better, since the reminder of his dead wife (Aiden) in this case would still be around.
So the biggest change would be that Aiden’s relationship to his father would be worse and Aiden would probably have one insecurity more in his life
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flippedorbit · 1 year ago
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do you want me to fucking go off on you? do you truly fucking want that mother?
#“oh you and your sister never listen to me and blah blah blah” we fucking do (or at the very least i do)#“you guys never help out” does me doing the litter and taking out the trash and on occasion hand washing the dishes mean#fucking nothing to you? does me sweeping the floor every once in a while because you chose to keep us in an area that is ALL SAND/DIRT ROAD#for whatever stupid ass reason also meaningless? does me doing my damn best to help out mean fucking nothing?#do you want me to kill my self. do you want to lose your eldest child to something YOU could have fucking prevented all because you can’t#stop being a bitch to him all the time? do you really fucking want that mom? because at this rate i am once again on the road to fucking#attempting it. i’m so god damn sick of how you treat me. the only time i can do anything i want is at night. i stay up super late playing#games with my friends because its the only time in the day when you aren’t bitching and whining for me to do something you don’t want to do#for the past several days i’ve been up until five in the damn morning just to do something that makes me happy.#you misgender me. you deadname me. you refuse to accept any aspect of my identity. you don’t treat me like a god damn person.#i have so many different ways i can consider attempting if i truly wanted to. the only thing keeping me alive is my friends. because they a#least show that they fucking care and actively want to do things with me. like group drawing or playing video games.#YOU on the other hand; mother; yell and get mad at me over the stupidest shit and never fucking apologize.#i cannot recall a singular time you’ve apologized for being a complete bitch to me over something so fucking unimportant.#and yet i’m expected to be completely fucking fine and happy all because you provide me with the bare fucking minimum.#”i clothe and feed and provide a place for you to live” THAT IS THE BARE FUCKING MINIMUM. sure you could argue over the fact i’m 18 and#should be out working somewhere. but you give me so few opportunities for going places and even considering getting a job or finally gettin#my driver’s license. plus i would rather fucking die than work any food service or customer service job. because i’d be going somewhere#where i’d mostly get talked down to or yelled and then come home and have the same shit done after working for hours and getting minimal#pay. i’d rather work on my own fucking terms with commissions than go into any job where i have to interact with others in public for any#reason. where i’d be treated just the same as at home. like someone who isn’t a person and doesn’t deserve anyone to be nice to them.#i constantly so desperately wish that maybe one day soon i’d find someone to be with romantically and that i could maybe live with them and#get out of this hell hole that i’m supposed to call home. to go somewhere and have my efforts appreciated. to go somewhere where i’d#actually fucking be loved. i shouldn’t have to wish so god damn hard for a better life all because my mother can’t fucking treat me like a#person with hopes and dreams and thoughts and feelings.#i’m ending this rant here before i get too angry and upset. see you all in maybe an hour.#suicide mention#ask to tag
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